Trials

In the walk of life, it's just not suppose to happen this way, we are not suppose to bury our children, they are suppose to out-live and bury us. Well, God had other plans for Joe and me and we were burying our firstborn daughter. I'm thankful for the nine plus months, Lindsey and I were as one. There is no medical reason why Joe and I can't have more children. After leaving the fertility clinic, we put it in the hands of our Great Physician. As days go by, God remains faithful to Joe and me and as we spend time with God that's when we feel closest to Lindsey. She is at the very feet of Jesus even as I write these words. (II Corinthians 5:8) This experience has changed my life; I'll never be the same again.

If you ever need to talk about anything at all, please feel free comment on this page. I'll listen and help you if I can. You'll never get over this but it does get easier and you will get through it. I went through a depression stage and all the other stages that you may go through also. I actually thought my life was over, but it was only the beginning to walk a little closer to God. God got my attention; He took something dear and near to my heart and I had two choices. I could get "bitter" or I could get "better". My Aunt told me that and at the time I didn't understand, but as days went by, I knew it was true and, sad to say, she was right! I had to face reality in my life and realize that God was in control and He had a plan that I needed to follow through with and trust Him. I was growing very bitter day by day and life all around me was moving on without me. I had to get a grip!

You may have a long recovery ahead of you both, but if you'll allow God to help you and be your guide, He'll never leave you. "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content such things as you have: for He hath said I will never leave you, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13:5) I wish I could tell you more and talk to you and maybe help prepare you for the days ahead. Some will be smooth and others rocky. The road ahead is up and down. One day is good, another is bad. It kind of reminds me of someone with mood swings. It comes all of a sudden with no warning. Just remember, it's okay to feel the way you are feeling. Only time will heal. The most help comes from my Heavenly Father. I just run into His arms and rest. I encourage you to do the same.

Try not to take what others say personally. People don't know what to say in a situation like this and sometimes they say the wrong thing. I can't begin to tell you how people approached us and then some just plain out ignored us and pretended they didn't know who we were or what had happened to our family. Our best friends were people who could honestly say, "I know what you're going through, I've been there!" We did have some very close friends and family who stood beside us and acknowledged our loss and still today, with the encouragement of those same family and friends, her memory remains alive in our hearts.

I feel your pain as I re-live my own experience. I truly wish you didn't have to suffer as I did. But just know that if you've asked Jesus to come into your heart and save you, then you can rest assured that you'll be with your precious child one day when your life is done here on earth. "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thy heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart the man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture saith that "whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed for there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." (Romans 10:9-13)

Your baby is in the same place as Lindsey and probably playing with her around God's mansions. "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Fathers house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also." (John 14:1-3) My words can't take the place of your loss but you can trust and rely on God's promises that I've shared with you. Take one day at a time and remember I'll always be here for you if you would like to share your thoughts with me. I would LOVE to hear from you. It does help to talk about it, especially to someone who knows first hand how you're feeling. One day, you'll be right where I am healing second by second, minute by minute, day by day and finally year by year. It hasn't been easy but God has provided a way. I will pray for you and your husband and with time, You, too, are going to make it!